after the deluge

First period came today with a student asking for some fresh air and to see nature. I hand the remote to a student, tell all including my assistant that they will now learn about birds, and grab my camera...




... which I had not taken to the school for a while. at home I discover the flies (click it to see them) on the iris and choose 13 in all to highlight at flickr.

two hours later I climb the hill from the garden and find a student missing. anger builds.

But... the last two nights while doing my examen I have written about the sadness around this student. I ask him to stay as the rest leave for lunch. He moans about his birthday blues. I agree that it is sad.

Then I tell him I too am sad. I am sad that after years of being my best worker he has sunk way down the list. I am sad that he will likely not be back in horticulture and that we are ending with me being angry. I say you wanted out, you stayed, but only half-hearted. I tell him that my desire is to not let these last few months ruin how I feel about him.

He thanks me for the talk.

tonight as I examen my day, I am glad for these two students. And glad for the blessing of controlling my anger which can be terse, oh so very terse.

time for a friend

I am behind in grading my students work, I scramble to be prepared for teaching, my garden at home has been neglected, and I am falling further behind in my readings for the graduate class I am taking. However, I have found time to pray for an extra hour each day (by getting up early) because I have started Ignatius's spiritual exercises in everyday life. Prayer is a fine time to discern what needs to be done.

Three weeks ago I heard some sad news. Two weeks ago I walked a labyrinth and that news came into my prayer. A friend at work has gotten some rotten medical news and is at home hoping for a miracle. As I sat in the middle of the labyrinth God says, "Tell me you don't have the time to go visit the man. The man who has greeted you with kindness for ten years." What could I say to that?

His wife is an avid gardener and requested help dividing day lilies and irises which are taking over portions of her yard. She pointed out that the day lilies were a favorite of his. I e-mail her telling her I wanted to get some so that I could bring them to work and create a garden with my horticulture students.

I was well into getting myself sweaty and dirty when he came outside with his feeding tube. We sat in the middle of an amazing garden. While I drank water, we chatted. We spoke about spiritual retreats, the school we work at, the garden, his diagnosis, and Psalms. I have heard he is praying psalms every night. I tell him psalm 139 is important to me, and it turns out that we share favorite psalms. He tells me how he watches the Christmas Carol each year because of a recitation of psalm 139.

An hour or so later I was headed to the school to unload a car filled to the brim with lilies and irises. I am physically and emotionally drained. The day is near over and all of the things which I have fallen behind are still on my to do list. I do believe I discerned correctly on how I spent this day.

Tonight my prayer takes me to the idea of God creating us out of nothing each moment. I sense this is how miracles can occur. In that instant of being recreated, maybe, just maybe healing can occur.