Jesuits in outerspace, gardeners in Ambler

This week I heard that for 200,000 dollars folk can spend a few moments in weightlessness. So far I know of no Jesuits who have signed on for the trip. This is about enjoyable reading and again it is about what books can flow into your life.

We do utilize the library here in Lansdale, but for a greater selection we head off to the Genius Belt... Bucks County likes to consider themselves this because of a wave of artists and writers that flowed into the area years ago. The Michener museum next to the library has a great selection of Pennsylvania Impressionism that speaks so greatly in my heart that loves the landscape they captured on canvas. We live just outside of the belt.

Anyway... type in Jesuit into a library search engine and next thing you know you could be reading science fiction. I just finished Children of God by Maria Doria Russell, which is a continuation of her first novel-- The Sparrow. Recommend both to fans of Jesuits and/or science fiction. She was not afraid to get help along the way so that what she did was authentic and in the list of those she acknowledge you will find a few men with S.J. after their name. Her list of experts made me think of my journey.

Eight years ago I was offered a job opportunity which I did not feel qualified for and said so to the person offering the job. I love the job and am glad I took it, but have always felt embarrassed by my lack of training. In those years I have learned quite a bit about horticulture, but did not search out expert advice very often. Thursday evening I sat (dug frozen soil to send for testing, taste tested 10 types of apples, weeded through seed packets, became part of a group of young undergrad students) through my first horticulture class at Temple Ambler. So now it is time to kick myself ever so gently for waiting 8 years and pat myself on the back (ever so gently) for not waiting any longer.

And bringing the decision to take the class before God in discernment--- the downsides of it taking up time, money, and energy; seem to be out weighed by how I see this will benefit my students.

leaping

Enjoyable reading came home one day with M. She brought A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby. Now I have seen three movies based on his writing but have not touched one of his books, so I went for it. The premise is this--- that on New Year's Eve four people head to a favorite spot in England for suicidal leapers. They unexpectedly meet each other on the roof top and leave the roof together. Hope that they will survive to the end of the book comes from the fact that all four take turns narrating the story.

I used to have a fantasy and once wrote a short story about getting a fatal disease and just hiking into wilderness to die. Times have changed and the internal angst that led to such thoughts have faded. I am glad that I was not a leaper out of life.

But am I a leaper into life? into faith?

I go slowly and how I entered a swimming pool for the first time in years this past summer is a good example. It took some hot days before I got there. Then I showed up not prepared to swim, but did immerse my feet. Eventually steps were used to enter the pool, but by the last day at the retreat center I did leap into the deep end with the desire to touch bottom.

This week when talking about following Christ with my spiritual director, I said how if I chose to stay back something inside of me would die. Imagining this I sense a void of hope and faith that would leave me empty. But I also said that if I followed Christ something inside of me would die. Writing that now I think of what I just wrote above. A desire to be dead has died.

I want to know why things come together like this when I am blogging.

I see choosing a life with Christ as a leap into a mystery. Like I said, I am not good at leaping. Even so, in the past ten years I have gotten wet.