2000 miles ago

A few days ago I searched through my LP's and there came a memory. It was the Pretenders.... Learning To Crawl... that I played which caused a trip back to my angry young man days. Here is the last song... 2000 miles.

and I was at an election night party. We were sad for our guy was going down by over 10% points to Arlen Specter. Maybe it was the anger of being a born again environmentalist while Ronald Reagan was doing all he could to replace all the Redwoods with a plastic tree that led me to that party. It was the only campaign I have ever worked for. I still would vote for the man. Maybe Bob Edgar is glad he lost that election in 1986 for he has done quite a bit with his life outside of being a US senator. And here I am 22 years older respecting the man I wanted so badly to lose. Specter is a dinosaur in DC, a moderate Republican.

The campaign was over and the party would be the last time I saw all those people who had come together because we believed in Edgar. I don't know if I saw it as a last time event when I was there.

Jesus saw the last supper as a final event. He "ardently" desired to be with those good folk, for one last glass of wine. One more feast with friends before the suffering. In week three of the spiritual exercises I am to walk with this man I have befriended during week two and be there for him as he suffers. Jesus filled with joy to have a community he so desired to ist down and eat with one last time. Jesus filled with dread as he faced his suffering. The dread that flows out later in the garden. How blessed to have that final meal? How blessed I am that final meal took place? How blessed to share that cup every Sunday?

At the party, a woman I had grown fond of was getting drunk and sad. A Pretenders song came on the stereo and she said something that has stuck with me. "They just don't spit vile like they used too." Strange what stays connected in your mind.

So yes, 2000 miles doesn't spit vile, but Chrissie Hynde was stuck in the cold missing someone, who was too far away and ardently wishing that the person will come back.

I will be at that part of the story soon enough, but till then there is loving someone so much that you will be by their side when they suffer, and miss them dearly when they are gone. and hope with all your heart you will see them again.

were you with me 2000 miles ago in the Lehigh valley?

gifts of love

What smells better than a Sweet Pepper grown in Lansdale, Pennsylvania

Yesterday I smelled joy. It has been pointed out, that I make a noise of sensual ecstasy when I smell fresh peppers from my garden. At work, I strongly require my students and assistants to take a sniff.

The peppers, the smell, and my noise will hopefully always remind of AC, who worked with me for a year or so and laughed at me every time she heard the noise. Where does this joy come from?

I am thinking of the joy brought out in receiving and giving love. Recently I asked Julian of Norwich to be my guide as I prayed through John's telling of the Samaritan woman meeting Jesus at the well. Asking help from a saint was new ground for me to walk on but every time I turned to Julian she provided me with some insight that took me deeper into the gospel story. Julian shared her visions with us through her writings. The woman who met Jesus at the well shared the messiah with her community.

Then there is the story of Hannah who is loved dearly by her husband but is mocked by his other wife for being barren. She prays so hard that Eli, the priest, accuses her of drunkenness. She pleads with Eli to hear her prayer and not to judge her as a drunkard. God and Eli bless her, and a son is born. In prayer she had promised God this miracle, and she follows through by delivering Samuel to Eli at the temple when she has weaned him.

In all these cases God provides joy and the gift is shared.

In his book, Here and Now, Henri J.M. Nouwen writes: "Joy is the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing- sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war, or even death- can take that love away."

Ok, so God loves me and I love the smell of peppers. Why is the scent so pleasing? Evolution has taken our brains in a direction that scents produce emotions and apparently causes spontaneous sighs of joy when it is pleasurable. I am loved. God has guided me to garden so now I have peppers and I experience the joy of creation at work and home. But what do I do now with that pepper. What do I do with that great gift?

The pepper shown above was used in making dinner, fake sausage sandwiches as we call them. At work, students get to smell what doesn't exist in grocery stores. Then I send my students out and my co-workers get to buy heirloom veggies grown organically. I have been doing this for eight years now and I try to sell for less than what they would cost at a store. I want the gift that brings me joy to become a bonus and blessing to those who work at and attend my school.

At work on Friday, thoughts of total chaos entered my mind, I could have become scared, negative, and down hearted, but it was time to cook. I led the students across the dry grass to the kitchen and we made brownies with fresh mint, and fudge with dried lavender. One student hated mint, but took a sample anyway. After he darted to a trash can to spit out the mint brownie, I gave him a handful of chocolate chips and told him to hang on, the fudge will be set on Monday.

With five minutes left in the school day, I walked back across the dry grass. We had less flour and chocolate, but we had three 9x13 inch pans of joy. That is when another student came running up to me and said, "Stratz, I have been looking all over for you."

I said, "I bet you have," while expecting the student to make a plea for a brownie. Instead he said, "Can I have a pepper?" I said: follow me. I set down the tray of brownies, and pulled a plastic bag from my fridge. Inside were three peppers and I passed the joy on.