|A Sophia Spiral|
Sister Maria is still directing me even though I admitted to her this morning some of my negative thoughts on those who dump the other images of God and only keep the feminine. But she asked for me to read a letter I wrote to Sophia and I didn't edit it as I read aloud, though I worried I would offend. She just get like a good Jesuit and says that's "great, you have to be willing to share your desolations." She even asks if I would read scripture tomorrow and I say, "Yes."
Here, the building sweats with us. At mass today they say, it is going to be 97 degrees and the humidity is 99%. Then to point out more of what I wished I had not noticed, they say, "The floors are slippery." There are sections of this building where the condensation is impressive; small puddles have formed. So I doodle early to try to beat the heat in my third floor room and for the third straight day, I feel I have drawn an inspired doodle.
Today's shows light creeping though a mass of darkness. The darkness is the gate that protects my heart from helpful things like God. Today I imagine it is Sophia, then a thought comes to mind and when you are being silent many of those happen... Maybe it is Sophia looking through and I am the light. who knows.
I had chosen a Don Byron CD to listen to while doodling and lie down to finish it off. Some of his jazz sounds like klezzmer music, but this doesn't and for a moment I am wondering if I am hearing a tuba. I take out the liner notes and see he is playing a bass clarinet in what is a duet with jazz pianist Uri Caine. They are playing "Reach Out I'll Be There" which sounds like a 70's pop tune, but the title is what I have been hearing from God. I read more of the line notes. Byron does everything from Roy Orbison and Stevie Wonder to Schumann, from Ornette Coleman to Mancini, Sondheim, and ends with Chopin. I realize that this jazz album states it all for me these silent days. Byron is open to many. I want to be open to many. I quake and tears fall. It is rare for me but every so often God finds a wound opens it up and in the pain and joy tears fall.
Sophia is Wisdom is God. Sophia as described in Chapter of the Book of Wisdom says begins with a sincere desire for instruction. She is what drives us to want to know more about our faith. Anytime we need wisdom to to do what is right, to know what to say, to love more fully, she is there for us. What does your heart desire to know?
At lunch I am finding God in a cherry tomato salad. These tasty gems have to be local. There is a woman sitting a few feet from me. She has tomatoes on her sandwich and in her green salad, but none of the salad. I resist for a bit, but finally when I get up to clear my plates, I lean over and shattering the silence, I whisper, "God desires you to have some of the cherry tomato salad."
The woman looks up and says, "Does SHE really." The smile that shines on her face is as great as the salad.
Being a prophet of a God with many names, I say, "Yes she does," and walk away back into the silence, where many more thoughts awaited me.