worshiping with my body, it is becoming natural

Worship at the Jesuit Center was a new world for me. I was clearly an outsider. Becoming Episcopalian helped. Now years later I see worship differently.

Monday evening I met some friends at that Episcopal church and inspired by the words found in the writings of Saint Matthew, Joe Paprocki, and Frederick Buechner we spoke about worship.

Matthew tells us that Jesus refuted the third temptation he faced in the desert with these words..."The Lord your God shall you worship and him alone shall you serve"

Joe Paprocki in a Well-Built Faith speaks of worship as a place where we align ourselves with God and tells us that the word for worship in Hebrew (shachach) means "to bow before."

Monday at work a friend hands me Wishful Thinking by Buechner, a book I had loaned her years ago. I turn to the W's and read that as with any great love; joy and foolishness would best be found in the proceedings we call worship. I decide it will be read to my friends later that evening.

Tonight I meet with another group of friends at a Quaker Meeting House and I speak of how movement has become so important to me. I desire to bow down when I enter the sanctuary. I am drawn to kneel before the "high" altar and ask for renewal and cleansing when I receive the Eucharist in my outstretched hands. I love the feeling of my hands touching my friend's hands as I take the chalice to my lips, and Oh to cross myself at the mention of the Holy Trinity during the final blessing, my hand lingering at the center of my chest as I bow down filled with the hope that I have aligned myself with God.

Oh, I have changed.

and to have my friends travel along with me as I unfold is a blessing beyond even my imagination. Here is an unfolding dahlia to brighten the spirits of anyone else out there who is hoping to feel temperatures above freezing...

immortality... is like a bright light in a dark room?

Immortal genes have withstood the test of time. Mathematically they should not exist. Mutations occur more often than we think. In fact it is estimated that each of us on average have 175 mutations among the 7 billion letter code our DNA carries. We are all mutants in one way or another.

so it goes like this... There are more than 500 genes that all life have in common. From the bacteria living in our digestive tract to the carrots we eat, to us, to whatever pet you ever owned. A mutation that shows a very very very slim benefit will survive (except for random events). These immortal genes remain even though mutations should have changed us completely from bacteria. For much more on this read The Making of The Fittest by Sean B. Carroll.

The last time the adult group met at Holy Trinity we spoke of the "church" but ended with eternal life. Humans so want to be immortal.

I like a simile Joe Paprocki makes about purgatory in his book, A Well Built Faith, even if I don't know if I believe in purgatory. Being met by God's cleansing love is like a bright light being turned on after we have adjusted to the dark. Paprocki claims it is painful and that is why Catholics pray for those in such a place. I can sense this. Can you imagine leaving this world to another? Being met with a forgiveness we can only imagine? Who knows it may be a gentle slide, but it could be quite a rough transition.

I was cleaning out my studio today and ventured back into a deep thin closet. In the dark, I grabbed a large frame and then brought it out to the light. I can't say that it is a highly favored photo and it may be why I never wear bright red these days. But lately I look at this ghost of myself and ask, "did you know what was going to hit you." He didn't. He may have thought it was hip to wear a red jacket and a bow tie, or he may have thought it was the worst thing he would ever go through. A mutation would change his life. Some mutated genes are not meant to be immortal. Without doctors I would have died.

Today I walked a few steps over to Mosaic Woman's studio and said, "I think I will hang this up."

She said, "Go for it."

Gratitude 4

Gratitude goes to what I was told when I said I wasn't...

"ready to state beliefs."

The conversation was between me and the man who guided me back into a life of faith when I was in my mid 30's. The conversation was about becoming a member of the church he ministered. I said ... "I won't lie and say I believe in this or that..."

He said, "All you have to say is that you will join us by taking a journey." Sometimes I think it would have been easier to lie and skip the journey. Not as fulfilling, just easier.

A week ago I met some folk who think I am the leader of our adult group at Holy Trinity Episcopal Church here in Lansdale. I throw something out then sit back and listen. They are on a journey too.

So with 15 minutes to go I threw out, "Lets talk about death, fear, resurrection..." Then sat back.

As I was reading Joe Paprocki's A well Built Faith to prepare, I was taken by how my heart seemed ready to try to fill it with the belief that death was conquered by the cross. It seemed so much a core of what it means to be a Christian, yet here I was filled with a desire to finally believe in my mid 40's. So I offered it up to God with much joy.

Also what lingers from that Monday night is a pain in my heart. The dagger was not meant to hit me, but the comment struck hard. The comment may or may not be true about our life after death. The sadness it created was true. I will offer that up to God too.

The journey continues. Creation unfolds and we step into it.


...

my church... Holy Trinity in Lansdale

I turn my head to the left often in Church because this is what I see. Today we toasted our past, present and future as we ate lunch together. We have hope and it reminded me of how earlier in church we sang this hymn that I feel is our theme song these past couple years...

Shout To The North

Men of faith rise up and sing
Of the great and glorious King
You are strong when you feel week
In your brokenness complete

Shout to the North and the South
Sing to the East and the West
Jesus is saviour to all
Lord of Heaven and earth

Rise up women of the truth
Stand and sing to broken hearts
Who can know the healing power
Of our awesome King of love?

Shout...


We've been through fire, we've been through rain
We've been refined by the power of Your name
We've fallen deeper in love with You
You've burned the truth on our lips


Shout...


Rise up church with broken wings
Fill this place with songs again
Of our God who reigns on high
By His grace again we'll fly


Shout...


Listen to it by the man who was moved to compose it... Robin Mark

and finally I have been reflecting on Matthew 28: 16-20 this past week, and that is because a wonderful small group of friends are willing to show up when I ask for messages, like the one printed below, to be sent to the congregation... all are invited.



STARTING THIS MONDAY...

The adult study group will gather on Mondays this year at 6:30 pm. I recently received a copy of A Well-Built Faith by Joe Paprocki. A book published by Loyola Press, a Jesuit press in Chicago. The very same press that published My Life With The Saints by James Martin, S.J.

A Well-Built Faith is designed for Catholics, who teach catechism classes, but in reading it I saw how it could promote some interesting discussion. We are a varied group of folk, who have arrived at Holy Trinity at this time in our journey. It will give us a chance to explore what we have in common with each other and with Catholics (some diferences will surely arise... I am sure some Lutheran thoughts still arise in my brain). One change for this year will be that we will meet every other week, not specific weeks of the month as we did last year.

The book ends each chapter with three items, which will center our class. A Bible passage given for further reflection on the theme (I have extended some to include complete passages), a prayer which will end our time together, and a section Paprocki calls, "So What--- What difference does it make that Catholics believe in...?" I will use this section to pose a question to lead us into a time of personal reflection. All are welcomed to attend. Again we will gather at 6:30 in the office area.

Here is the schedule for the first 6 weeks:

September 8th--- Matthew 28: 16-20 How Did You Become A Christian?

September 22nd--- Exodus 3: 1-6 How has God been revealed to you?

October 6th--- 2 Timothy: 3: 14-17 How has the tradition of your church shaped you?

October 20th --- Matthew 3: 13-17 What Does the Holy Trinity mean to you?

November 3rd --- Romans 8: 31-39 How has Jesus, in his conquering death, strenghtened your faith?

Novemeber 17th--- Revelation 21: 1- 8 Perhaps the greatest mystery... How has your journey shaped your view of life after death? plus some thoughts on Mary.

what percentage are we?

It does not ask if both are possible in their own realities, but this Gallup poll shows that both things are believable.

Yet, stand in the midst of evolutionary biologists and speak of the joy of living in God's unfolding creation and see who agrees, some will.

Stand in the midst of many American Christians, and speak of the wonders of DNA and the evolution of life from bacteria and then mention primates and humans and see who agrees, some will.

There are times I sit in church and my science education knocks on some neurons and I think, "How can I believe in this hocus pocus nonsense?" There are times I try to understand the wonders of life and how exactly evolution works and my overwhelmed brain says, "It is too complicated."

The first doubt leads to atheism, the second leads to Intelligent Design theory.

Most of the time I am comfortable with both (not atheism and ID)... standing in the middle believing in the fact of evolution and the truth of Christianity. Fact and truth. This is how Joe Paprocki explains it in his book, A Well Built Faith. This I found in a book for teaching the basics of the faith to young and old Catholics. What a better world we would have if we weren't told to choose one. It is a good thing to believe. Both sides of this battle claims the other is unbelievable. Just because one is true does that make the other one impossible.

So do I believe in two unbelievable thoughts, or in two believable thoughts.

Things evolve, and not just biological. I am rather certain that the Catholic church has not always had their presses (Loyola Press in this case) putting out books saying it is OK to believe in both. Problems come when we stop believing that things have changed or try to stop the changes.... when we dig in our heels in the midst of a better reality and refuse to ride that wave of a unfolding creation. Who would I be if I had not studied evolution? Who would I be if I was not accepting of my spiritual life?

What is God's exact role in the process? Who knows? But those who are righteously certain stand on both sides of me screaming at each other as I stand in a bookstore trying to find a book on evolution. At school I am comfortable being in the realms of science and what studies about life have proven to be true. I am also comfortable walking with a God that looks down at creation and says, "It is Good." This spiritual truth does not get taught in my classroom, except if a student struggles with both, then I will say that there are those who see it both ways. I don't preach, but I refuse to say one is wrong. I tell them that there is no living human who knows exactly how life started, and be grateful that there are mysteries, then I teach them biology through the vision of one who believes in evolution.

I am not alone here in the midst of the anger and hatred that has emerged in this debate, though I imagine our demographic group would be a small percentage. Maybe next time the folk at Gallup will have another possible answer when they ask their questions.

being enthused

Roles change. In the beginning (at my present school) I taught life skills or functional academics, then in a major leap in equilibrium, I became horticulture guy. Now at the school I am introduced as the man who runs horticulture and teaches advance science.

I am well aware of my increase in enthusiasm these past days. Last year I taught physics (2nd time) and human anatomy (1st time). Physics was a breeze in high school then in college it knocked me for a loop for which I will for ever be recovering. And how exactly did I get a degree in Biology without a class on humans? I had way more BIO credits than needed but I was attracted to ecology.

One benefit of teaching where I work is I get questions like, "What science do you want to teach this year?" I wanted to teach biology. But I also added geology. Yes, make life more difficult by teaching something new.

Another benefit... text book choices. I decided to turn away from traditional texts that make eyes go foggy. So I searched on-line. Then in libraries. Then in bookstores (three this past weekend) including this survivor of the big chains in Doylestown, PA. Yesterday I covered our bed with books and went back on the computer trying to make final decisions.




I struggled with this decision more than I do with most. Maybe it was I had an idea of what I wanted to find and kept looking, but a decision had to be made and I did it.

Each class will have a book to cover the basics. But I also wanted the students to read from those who write well about science. The geology students will read John McPhee's Annals of the Former World which combines four of his books of traveling with geologists, including a look at the Delaware Water Gap which could be a long but cool field trip since we could stop at the Boulder Field at Hickory Run ... Here is a photo by Mr. Biggs called "mom goat" at his FLICKR photostream.

( "mom goat" a found photo by Mr Biggs at his FLICKR photostream)

For Biology I chose Anatomy of a Rose by Sharman Apt Russell which is a great book about the life of flowers, not just roses.

Anyway, I am being drawn into these classes. Yesterday I began reading the book sent to me by Loyola Press, A Well Built Faith. In an early chapter, Joe Paprocki compares folk who force relationships with God with those folk who are called by God. Things go better if not perfectly for the latter group. Something is happening here in my heart as I prepare with enthusiasm. I hope that it is arising from a call to teach on subjects for which I have passion and a desire that this will help me to become a better teacher. Speaking of which, I plan to introduce the biology students to birds. Flowers, birds, the land of Pennsylvania they are blessings that deserve my enthusiasm.