what I might have said....

It was one of those Sundays when our rector opened the sermon up for discussion. But first he spoke about John's repeated mention of Jesus referring to himself as bread and wine, body and blood. The rector spoke of how every Sunday Eucharist is a relatively recent practice of the Episcopal church..

At first I thought about saying how grateful I am that it is weekly and how it draws me to church every week, but so does the friends, the coffee, the hymns, but not the donuts, which could be so much better. Several spoke similar thoughts (about being grateful of it's weekly nature, not of the donuts), so I sat quiet. Comfortable in my silence.

Anyway, just about the time he wrapped it up, my mind made a connection... so if I had spoke..

"The words I whisper as I take the bread. The words I whisper as I take the wine. I carry these back to my seat and as I bow my head, I pray these words.

INHALE... renew me

EXHALE... cleanse me

These are the words I have taken often into my meditation with friends at work on Wednesday afternoons. I try to keep my wondering mind silent by focusing on my Eucharistic prayer"

anyway that is what I would have said. And if I had rambled on some more maybe I would have spoken...

"Maybe I desire the weekly Eucharist because I so need to be reminded of what I need so much of in my life. And maybe I feel so alert and awake driving home Wednesday afternoons is because I have asked for renewal and a cleansing."

who knows?


...

moved by the spirit?

Who knows, but there I was just a few minutes ago, back in my studio after two days of mostly napping and reading. After missing the Eucharist two straight Sundays, I made my way down for our Monday of Holy Week service. Simple. No music. Scripture, liturgy, prayer, then we passed the bread and wine... the body, the blood.

I stood asking to be renewed. to be cleansed.

I came home saying howdy to neighbors on front porches and made my way to the studio. cut out pattern pieces and cut and ground smooth 12 pieces of orange glass.

I want to write about the show we had in Kutztown. I want to write about our big date in Philly. and I may... but for now you can go over to Mosaic Woman's blog and see what she had to say about those two events. I am so glad she found an image of a print we saw called Strata.

But for now I just wanted to share the joy of moving out of sluggishness, which had a hold on me for good reasons.

personal storms

on the 24th, the morning after a staff meeting, I predicted to my spiritual director that a storm was brewing at my workplace. Ten years at this place made the prediction all too easy. I knew it was waiting. I knew it would be best not to get swept away, but I got sucked into the vortex all the same.

When I realized that my mind was racing during prayer, I changed tactics, and turned away from the assigned passage.

On Sundays after the Eucharist, I close my eyes and breathe. In breath-- renew me. Out breath-- heal me. That is what I turned on two evenings this week, and though the storm still rages, I am more at peace.

Then I read the next passage to reflect upon (Matthew 14:22-33). Again (see my last post) the disciples are in a boat and filled with fear. But now Jesus understands that seeing a figure approaching a boat by walking on water can cause fear unlike his response to the fear of the storm. But it is Jesus reaching for Peter that speaks to me.

We enter all these storms that race toward us. Fears and panic can sweep us away, but there is that hand to pull us back to calmer waters. The storms will cause damage no matter what, but riding them out with faith helps us to stay present and not leap into negative predictions caused fear. I am grateful to having folk in my life who were willing to listen to my struggles this past week

as I say to my classes everyday, "Onward."