the boy who shows up in John

I am glad John mentioned where the bread and fish come from...(John 6:1-15) Last night the spiritual exercises had me go to the feeding of the 5000 and in John there is a boy who shows up after the men don't see possibilities for instead the men see limitations that prevent action.

"Not enough money and resources," the men cry out, "how can we feed the hungry?" A boy shows up with five loaves and two fish and Jesus moves into action. My imagination takes over I follow the boy who fees moved to go towards Jesus with his food. I don't see it as a chance encounter.

I want to be like that boy, who has something and brings it forth to God to help make the kingdom happen. No time. No money. No talent. No resources. No energy. I want to listen to myself and when I hear what the disciples said to Jesus, catch it and question myself if whether or not it is true.

Time, money, energy, talent, resources... yes, there are limits to all of these in our lives. My goal is to question if I use them as a reason why I don't do something and to examine what I do with what I have to offer.

what do all these things have in common?

yes, even the VW Rabbit was made in my home state. This is one exhibit we checked out before listening to Cyrus..... The museum shop is a combo of cheap stuff for students on field trips and handcrafted items from the local community college and members of the PA Guild of Craftsmen. Mosaic woman is juried into a local group of the latter so she queried and the pesron from the shop approved of the mosaics, thus Mosaic woman's wares will soon be on sale at the PA State Museum. I am proud of her.

living up to my expectations

My first post to this blog was inspired by the man playing piano above and when I saw him last night.... wow. four tunes in he went solo on "Tea For Two" and then "How Great Thou Art" after which he played to pieces favored by Elvis Presley. Cyrus Chestnut has taken some criticism for having a whole Cd of these songs which Elvis sang, though I have not heard any complaints about his playing on that recent CD. The man played everything from Bach to Ellington and did another hymn in the second set. I closed my eyes and truly listened to what Cyrus had to say to us.

I wanted to have this blog be about my whole life and it has been that way so far... Ignatius, Strudel, quilts, teaching, gardening, stained glass, mosaic woman, my church community

tonight I sat with Bartimaeus (Mark 10: 46-52). Jesus was leaving his town. It was now or never see again. I sat listening to him call out to Jesus. I heard the desperation, the hope, the desire. Was it mine? I have not felt so close to Jesus through the exercises for days.

What would I do if I had that one chance to call out and Jesus stopped and said to me, "What do you want me to do for you?" One last chance, would I ignore those around me to be quiet and call out for mercy. Would I desire it as much as Bartimaeus? something happened to me tonight.

Last night Cyrus let an 18 year old take the piano. As he left the young man to play, Cyrus said, "You may never have get this chance to play again..." When Cyrus came back up, he said to the young man, "I want to see what you got in four years, you have been served!"

baptism's power and humility

The spiritual exercises have gone another week of week 2. They are stirring my soul, so I guess I am getting my work out.

first I am in awe of the powerful nature of Jesus's baptism. Following him out of that scene over the last few weeks has shown me how it energized him into a life with a desire to do God's will. Made me think of being confirmed and how little that meant at the time. Being anointed on Christmas Day 10 years ago, a month after returning to church, comes to mind as a day of accepting the spirit, or at least becoming accepting of the spirit.

I have been selected as the person to gather photos to celebrate my parents, both of whom are turning 75 in 2008 and celebrating their 50th anniversary. A package came from California this week. Downloading the photos I see one I had never seen before.... my elder sister at her adult baptism which took place out west.

I sat with the three phases of humility this past week and it brings up my struggle with self-promotion. I feel awkward advertising my craft.

The other night I came across someone selling stained glass for hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Is my goal to limit my work to 5% of the population, to have fame, to have great wealth? What is my desire? Is it to do what I have loved all my life, create designs? If my craft brings me fame and wealth, then I will have to accept or reject those things based on how it touches me.

What do I desire from my life? What great desires does God want to stir up in my soul? I have doodled all my life.

Last night we went to Philadelphia to see Maria Schneider's Jazz orchestra. I closed my eyes and was taken away into the music's beauty and complexity. She has made a life from her passion. How many women who desire to compose and direct big bands end up 20 years winning a Grammy award? Did she do this for the fame or did the fame come because of a combination of talent and passion?

at the concert we ended up sharing a table with a jazz promoter. He was quite excited about one singer (a future post) and gave me her card. I gave him mine (first time I did such a thing) and told him what we make and told him we would save him a seat if he ever came back to the art museum.

with all this mind.... here is my latest piece...mostly made from scraps remaining after making the piece which I dropped...

ETSY SHOP

tucked in-- my quilt's story

I am in love with quilts. My one grandma did that to me and that is me tucked into the one she made for us way back when we lived in Oregon. A few years ago I took a beginners class and off to the races I went with no set plan. I did the squares I was taught. Found some of interest. Designed one myself. Ended up with 16 squares which I pieced together. Added a border. folded it up for a summer. bought batting and fabric for the back. put that in a closet. took a class on stained glass. changed my studio from a quilter to a glass worker setting.

One day (a while ago) at church a woman mentioned quilting. I mentioned my project. She may have said it was a sin for it to be going nowhere. time passed, but she wanting me to repent did not forget.

A few days before Christmas I took what I had to her house. With her husband's help we basted the thing together. Finishing a beer and resting our aging bodies we talked about the actual quilting process. I said, "when am I going to do that?"

she said, "you could pay someone to machine quilt it."

It sounded like the best idea, Then she said, "But of course that means you have to take all the stitches from basting out." Oh yes, to be a goof-ass.

The next Sunday in church she said, "have you called the quilter yet?" I said NO.

She had another option. She would be glad and honored to quilt it for me. I said BARTER.

Christmas Eve, I said, "Come to church tomorrow and I will hand it to you."

She said, "Great, I can take it to Ohio with me."

I said, "You are going to take my quilt to Ohio!!!!" She said YES.

Yesterday I asked if she was finished yet and promised I would not ask again.

She has started.

How to respond????

When Jesus turns around and says, "What do you want?" How do you respond?

Those words from Jesus stayed with me this past week and Wednesday night I when I reflected on this week of the exercises.

I desire to keep following Jesus.
I desire to find what desires God has for me.
I desire to live fully.
I desire to relate to others, intimately.
I desire a heart that does not harden as I age as a teacher.
I desire to be filled with hope, peace, joy, and love.
I desire to be aware of my physical, emotional, and spiritual self.
I desire to .... one day open up that Marula Jelly that Mosaic woman bought me for Christmas.

speaking of Mosaic woman. it is about time to show off some of her work....

click to go to ETSY

the roller coaster is in a valley

In a funk today...

it isn't one main thing and it is ....

Mosaic woman has a cold and is distracted by her day tomorrow.

It is my last day of my vacation and I face all that I didn't get to, including the house chores I had said I would get to, well I got to some.

But what keeps floating into my mind is my latest piece of stained glass. Thought of last January, designed in April, redesigned, redesigned again this week, then a few days of cutting, foiling to Red Garland, soldering it into one piece, then being pleased when it fit well into an 8x10 frame and putting on some silicone to hold it in. Then the moment of truth, I carefully held it up to the light. I was well pleased, and this gift for a friend was done. I took it down to show Margaret. I set it down. I wanted another look. I held it up and it fell from the frame and bounced off our radiator as it fell. I put it back in the frame.

After dining out, I pick it up. Something is wrong. I look closer, a piece is broken. I look closer and at least 7 of the 40 pieces are cracked.

It can be fixed but that will take learning a new skill and lots of time. I go back to work tomorrow and after a frustrating attempt at trying to get one piece out Mosaic woman wisely said, "put it aside."

Tonight I sat with Jesus as he changed water into wine. At the end I hear these words... "Keep riding the roller coaster" you know.. life, ups and downs.

In the midst of the funk I made cabbage and noodles for lunch, and banana pancakes for dinner when Mosaic woman asked for a delay in making our traditional black-eye peas and cornbread. I also sat with her as we read through a couple more months of our journals for 2007 and talked about that roller coaster ride.