emerging from Lyme disease...

I wish I always lived in a world that was shades of grays, but I am far from perfect. Thus either I am sick or I am well. Lyme disease or no Lyme disease.

and once it is gone then there are no physical, emotional, spiritual issues. Because I am well.

Well, maybe it isn't quite like that...

so what am I trying to do about a malaise that has set in at work...

I am trying to find joy at work by finding things to be grateful for.

I am trying to push myself more at the gym to get my body back in shape so I am ready to garden come spring time.

I am sharing my story with friends and with Mosaic Woman.

I am trying to emerge and heal the wounds that happened to my being this summer.

while doing five craft shows in five weeks. what a hoot that ride has been...

two to go...

rebound

life after antibiotics is quite nice. Today after harvesting lots of veggies at work, I sent the students out and about and I went back down into the garden.

Alone in the sun and heat, I went after the weeds in two 20 foot beds. When I left the garden the green beans were dominating their space. As I walked up the hill, I looked at my filthy pants and knew all was well.

Later we made lots of rosemary bread then roasted green beans, garlic, onions, eggplants, potatoes, and peppers from the garden to finish off our cooking club.

I came home exhausted, but from work, not disease.

I am seriously thinking about giving money to help those with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I can imagine how it would feel. I am so glad I was tired and foggy brained for only two and a half weeks.

When one says, "what that?" and it is the return of bounce to one's step... It is wonderful.


hope you all got the newsletter, we sent it yesterday.

the unblogging mind

this is typical...

I am sitting at my drawing table and realize I need drafting tape, so I rise up to walk ten feet. I find myself standing in the bathroom wondering why I had walked there. Sometimes I remember, and in that case I got the drafting tape.

Blogging away from the computer takes much energy and my Lyme disease/heavy dose of anti-biotic mind is lacking it these days. A conversation with Mosaic Woman followed that evening by an essay on the very subject would have been woven together into a blog post by now. but not in this mind. A hymn sung by a friend in church, takes me to praying for a friend on retreat. Again no blog happened.

There are other things that take much energy, patience is one. My job has required more than I can handle on a good healthy mind day. This second week of tiredness may have led to one student telling me he would never come to my class again... he came back at lunch and we both spoke of our mistakes. Another student pointed out my impatience, then to melt my heart said that she still liked my class anyway. Another student's eternal habit finally pushes me over the ledge and I respond in a way that may not be the best way to help her to improve. After another day of falling of the ledge, I catch myself and develop a new plan while praying that evening.


Truly wake up calls to find the energy to treat my students as I would want to be treated. So, I pray for patience.


I returned to that drafting table and did not forget my project. You will see it here in the future, a collaboration with Mosaic Woman ... HOPE on slate

I pray that when I am done with the meds things will become less foggy, and once again blog posts will keep my typically wondering mind, a bit more focused. For now, I am so grateful my unblogging brain can still blog, if I sit to write.

bouncing back and fasting

My body was sliding away from feeling well, but today it bounced back nicely after a slow foggy start. Gave me a boost of confidence I can get the upper hand on the Lyme disease.

I have avoided "prolonged" periods in the sun, but fasting is strange.

The no food before and after the meds adds up to 3 hours, times two and that puts me at 6 hours a day I am not to be eating. Having a fast metabolism I have always been one to snack much before and after meals so I am finding it hard to not grab the corn chips in my classroom or the jar of nuts at home. Far from a true hardship, but it is requiring a new thinking.

Another strange thing has been the interactions with the students. I gave them a public information talk, which made some checking their skin before they even went outside, and one young man had a really hard time of it today which came out as anger and defiance in my presence. But now I know why he was upset so we can chat.

I am hoping my energy level stays high and if that is the case, a benefit of this will be two weeks of low energy out put at the school (avoiding the sun), which will leave me energy in the shade of evening to garden at home.

searching for shade

The craft show went by as the rash grew. Friday night it appeared something had bit me, maybe even a mosquito. Saturday morning there was some concern. By Sunday I had diagnosed myself with Lyme disease.

In unexpected turn in my life, I did not hesitate before calling the doctor on Monday, and missed out on a school swim trip to be diagnosed... "I would tell my friends to take antibiotic."

So the plan was... OK, I'll go to the doctor so I can prevent feeling truly awful and not get any of the truly scary complications. Take the pills and move on with my life."

"You will need to avoid the sun except for early morning and evening."

My horticulture classes go from 10:30 till 1:50 or 2:50 this summer. I am one for covering up my skin with either clothing or sun screen and wear one amazing floppy hat, but people seemed to think I should take care of myself."

So, I did. My trips to the garden were brief and only to announce what needed to be done. I felt a bit "off" today but who knows why... Lyme disease, 90 degrees and humid, anitibiotics, recovering from the craft show tiredness. Or maybe it was a bit too much pondering if I was "off" or not. Any which way the students have been given their charge.... check for ticks, inform folk about rashes, and pick up the pace in the garden. By 1:00, the heat had me asking little of them from that end.

the good news is we had a first harvest of Swiss Chard and green beans this week.

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