Monday, July 28, 2014

Thoughts on my Psalm 139 reflection

Psalm 139 begins with a description of a God, who is very difficult to escape. Tracking our location, movements, thoughts, and words which we are preparing to speak. This ancient text could compare with those who speak out on the tracking of Facebook, Google, credit card companies, and the NSA.

Is God like the NSA, impossible to escape from so that we will get caught if we do wrong? Is God selling our personal info to maintain pearly gates? Is God an overly obsessed lover, who ignores any restraining order we try to place upon him?

Or maybe God wants to have a conversation with us. Ignatius was big on conversations with God and all of creation. Knowing someone greater by intimate time, leads to greater love. God just may be with us at all times so that we can become more intimate. Through prayer, spiritual direction, jazz, art, and flower gardens; I get to know God and God gets to know me.

But Psalm 139 is meaningful for me for the next line which was not part of the daily reading last Sunday.

Verse 13. You created my inmost self, knit me together in my mother's womb.

My spiritual director suggested I read psalm 139 as I entered into my first 8 day retreat. It was at a time when I was exploring how a youth filled with visits to a urologist had affected my life. For 8 days God and I wrestled with a rather poorly knit urthrethra. Not what I was expecting when I drove to the Jesuit Center, but it was a long over due conversation.

Verse 14. For so many marvels I thank you; a wonder am I, and all your works are wonders. You knew me through and through,

OK, so maybe God gave me a poorly knit urinary tract, but I got to be awed by the hands he gave me. On the 4th of July, I sent out this image asking my Facebook friends to be careful while handling fireworks.

15. my being held no secrets from you, when I was being formed in secret, textured in the depths of the earth.

God wants us to share our secrets. I told no one about those doctor visits, which began when I was four, until I was in college. God was there when I finally told my story and has been encouraging me ever since. We are called into a life of intimate relationships fueled by conversations. God would rather not miss one.



1 comment:

  1. By speaking one's own secret, it is renamed. One is free of having it be something to hide. By sharing the story, the story is sent on a journey. A journey that can move through words and music and hearts and things that hands make. Relationship is precious.


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