Friday, March 6, 2009

the shoulder contiinues to speak to me

  1. gone, but not forgotten, is the irrational, in no way based in reality, fears the shoulder spoke and the best I heard ... "I've got rare incurable shoulder cancer, way to go with ignoring pain for years Bud."
  2. on hearing the results... "sure the x-rays show nothing but I'm not going to stop hurting you quite yet Bud."
  3. after the first OT appointment... "Yeah, Mindful Guy. I really can't move much in that direction."
  4. after I did the exercises for 4 days... "I feel stronger. I feel more flexible, But don't even think about pushing me too hard. Feel the pain Bud."
  5. after talking to a friend who expressed concern... "Quit whining and think about how she has Lupus. Keep exercising me and pray for her health."
  6. it gives thanks... "blessed are jobs that allow you to have insurance and 60 days of OT, blessed are those who train to help others heal, blessed are you Bud for believing in the power of healing."

Before I saw the doctor I was on my back praying and I heard a voice, (mine, my shoulder's, My God's). Who knows which, but what it said to me was simple... "you can heal." I have carried those words with me ever since.
As for shoulder cancer, it may exist but I saw no need to fuel the fear by searching, but it has been my great excuse around the house. say something goofy to Mosaic Woman... "The shoulder cancer has spread to my brain."

Her response last night was priceless... "Quit being the Goof-ass who cried wolf."

17 comments:

  1. Difficult to stop those voices...yes?

    Glad to hear the shoulder pain is not fatal! ;-p

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  2. I'm afraid that your sense of humor reveals just how bad this has been. Hang in there with the PT!

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  3. Ha! Good one, Mosaic Woman!! :)

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  4. My left shoulder throbs from time to time, but I am convinced it is nothing more than what x-rays on my neck revealed years ago: discs in that area dissolving as old age progresses, affecting nerves that extend elsewhere. My pain can be lived with. At my age, where doesn't it hurt a bit in someway? I know I've got years on you, but it began in my late 40's, is off and on, and supposedly common to people in the latter stretch of the race. Hope your own trouble is healable....

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  5. All those voices. I hope it feels better soon. Mosaic woman makes me laugh!

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  6. All-- thanks for listening to what my shoulder had to say. The other body parts are getting tired of it.

    Giggles-- I know nothing for certain.

    Gannet Girl---- I will. It is making the shoulder feel bad and good if you know what I mean. Learning to do what it can only remember.

    Mich--- I love her even if she says such awful things ;')

    Jim--- It had gotten to the point where I was having a hard time writing on the board at school... Yes, I do expect to ache, have for awhile, but I also am not ready to give up on healing and feeling better.

    Kathryn--- Thanks for your wishes and as for your comment on facebook, I am so lucky it blows my mind, but I am a rabbit after all.

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  7. I neglected to mention, Wayne, that when I began to have such problems and had those xrays taken confirming the neck problems the root of the whole affair, shortly thereafter I went forward one night in church for prayer. In truth, I went forward to help with some altar singing, but the visiting preacher whom I didn't much like spoke of someone in the congregation with neck problems. Hard-headed as I am, I walked toward him with the attitude "Ok, brother, let's just see how holy you are!" Before I reached him, my feet went out from under me and I hit the floor on my back, lying there completely aware of all that was happening. After a few moments, I thought "This is silly" and got up and walked off, only to find the pain that had bothered me for some time was gone. As noted earlier, that occurred in my mid forties and I've been pain free until the last six months or so. It is not, even yet, a constant throb, merely a "visitor" that comes to me here and there, no doubt after tossing and turning in my sleep on occasion. God does heal, sir, and I'll remember your situation in my prayers...

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  8. Jim--- M and I had a good laugh with your story this morning. We are "just silly" folk aren't we. peace to you, and thanks for sharing.

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  9. "I love her even if she says such awful things ;' "

    lol
    Mich

    PS. Just noticed that I hadn't signed that Anonynous comment and yet you knew it was me... you are at one with the worldwideweb.

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  10. Msklem--- she is lovable.

    Mich--- you are my anon friend. Now if I can become one with the rest of the world.

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  11. *grin*

    Good thing you decided to forego the searching, Stratoz. I can convince myself that I have a lot of dire diseases after just 20 minutes on WebMD! lol.

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  12. Blackswamp Girl--- how cool of you to stop by... as for medical searches... I am married to a medical librarian, even she did not look up shoulder cancer.

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  13. I'm glad you're mending in mind and shoulder!! And at least there were no puns...THAT would be worrisome!

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  14. Michelle--- Hmmm... if I was speaking in puns, now that would be a clear sign of a brain tumor.

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  15. ah, maybe you're "shouldering" too much lately . . . so glad you're doing the PT, it's beneficial

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  16. Ruth ---- other than the weight of the world, I got nothing on my shoulders at all. The therapists are getting my shoulder back into shape. I just hauled a bunch of stuff for a craft fair into my car.... than iced myself... feels OK, but not yet perfect. But for now OK is good.

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