Sunday, May 22, 2011
faithfulness 2: it is a heavy word
The letters are cut but the thoughts and scraps of orange glass remain floating about my head.
I spoke of faithfulness the other night when I met with my spirit group at Gwynedd Friends Meeting House. I spoke of my new wedding ring. Then I said, "Faithfulness is a heavy word."
When I finished talking the group fell into silence, then folk asked me questions. One was to talk more about the heaviness. I tumbled into thoughts. I spoke of how joy, love, and peace were light words. I spoke of the ever presence of doubts. It seemed like I had not gotten a huge piece of fruit called faithfulness. But it is not like I don't also have sadness, hatred, and angst in my life. There seemed to be a huge "should" weighing fown the word. I can't imagine a God saying, "You better be joyful or not." But it seemed like I had no problem with God demanding faithfulness. It was not a fruit that grew within me, but a command. I wanted to spend time with the word.
For days I have been seeing the reflection of the letters in a mirror. The reflection is not heavy. I like that image and want to travel deeper into the word.
as always, I am curious what you think.