Sermon 9.27.15 Esther Leaps In

a nearly completed Leap by Wayne Stratz

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” Audrey Lorde

In such a time as this we are called to respond, but how do we know what matters to God? When I asked the youth on Wednesday night, the first response was filled with the uncertainty we may all have at times when we ponder what God wants us to do.

I mean, does God really want me to guide a flock of young students who have leapt into the high school? Originally all seven had entered an elementary program for students in need of emotional support? Now I am their homeroom teacher. Do I have a net to catch them if they fall? Who has the net if I fall?

The Jews were in exile. A story was written starring Esther, who was beautiful. Does a message from God exist in the only book of the Bible that does not mention God or even prayer? Exiled away from their homeland, fading away from their rituals, and forgetting about the God who loved them. Can we blame them?

Are we more concerned with retirement funds or feeding the hungry? Sports results or visiting the sick and lonely? Shopping and vacations or quiet moments talking with God? It is not hard to forget about God. No indeed it can be quite easy by a steady stream of patriotic observances, 24 hour news streams, sporting events, music festivals, entertaining websites, economic forecasts, and never ending sales events.

Are we Christians in a media exile?

Esther is criticized by some for not talking about God and for being a member of the king’s harem. She is a Queen of Persia, who hides her Jewish heritage. She has a close relative who appears in this story, his name was Mordecai. Mordecai had adopted his cousin when she was orphaned as a young girl.

As the story unfolds, things are not going well. The king has not called on Esther for over a month. A man with political power named Haman is building a large structure. A structure, which when finished, is where Mordecai and other Jews will be put to death. Mordecai’s failure to bow down to Haman had landed him with the death penalty.

Our country has a long history of attacking those who did not bow down adequately. Change the names and our history can sound like Naman’s hatred of the Jews in Persia. Native Americans who believed in homeland security, African Americans who dared to want freedom and rights in a land where they had been exiled, Pennsylvanian Germans during WWI who wanted their children to speak their language in schools. Immigrants every where face both the love of a welcoming hand and the anger flowing from the fear of our land becoming their land.

It is as true now as it was 2000 plus years ago, and as it may always be. Each wave of immigrants or exiles meets a rocky shore not sure of who they can trust.

Mordecai faced with his life coming to an end, does not call out to God, but instead Mordecai goes to the palace, what can he lose. Personally not much, but he risks placing Esther in the spotlight when he sends her a note.

Esther 4:14

^“For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.”

Who have you turned to in your darkest moments? Would you turn to a family member or a friend with political power or turn to God? Hopefully both. Hopefully none of us will face a death penalty. Imagine the fear. But what of the family member we turn to? Would you risk your well being to help? What if a whistle blower came to one of us? Would we take up the cry for justice, or remain quiet to not take a risk in causing waves?

Esther has little time to save her cousin Mordecai and Esther has lost the King’s favor. Who knows when she will see the king? She decides to visit the king without an invitation. Her words upon this decision, “If I perish, I perish.” Imagine having this courage, if you were the one asked for help. Lose your job. Lose your life. Perish in the waves caused by your hope to create justice.

And what does a beautiful Jewish woman do when she illegally enters into the presence of the king; she invites him to dinner. He accepts and is falling in love again. Esther is beautiful and brilliant. She is a woman using the attributes she has to save human lives. For this her character has been attacked. She is bold and invites him to a second dinner while letting him know she has a favor to ask.

Haman is there, when the King, now fully smitten with Esther, asks her to please reveal her request. Esther rises up in defense of Mordecai and  and her people. Yes, she risks her life to save others when she calls out the evil in Haman’s heart. If I perish, I perish.

Haman is the one to perish. Mordecai is lifted up. Esther is revered by her people.

Where is God in this land of ours? What matters to God? The story of Esther is told during the Jewish festival of Purim. Food and Gifts are shared with one another and while sharing food matters to God, the last four lines of today’s passage is maybe the strongest message I see from God. Presents are to be given to the poor.

God is in this story. It is part of the continuous story of a God that provides and protects; and then expects those who have a surplus to respond in kind to those in need. Esther reminds us that praying and then waiting for a blazing bright miracle from God is not the only route. If I perish, I perish. We must act with a profound hope that it matters to God before we know if it matters to God.

For the past week I have been spelling out leap in glass. A large panel that appears to be complete, but the message is longer. Leap with the hope that a net will appear. Are you like me and want to see the net and know how strong it is before we leaps. I want to take safe leaps, but God hopes we will take chances. There is anxiety whether we leap or not. The anxiety does not decrease if we act, but the results can be so much better. In my Media filled exile, can I live the life I am called to live?

Pope Francis on teachers: These are educators “that encourage us to take the first steps in a new activity without having fear of the obstacles and the challenges to be faced; that spur us to surmount difficult moments; that exhort us to have confidence in ourselves and in our companions; that are at our side be it in moments of disappointment and loss, be it in those of joy and success.”

There are seven youth who will open my classroom door tomorrow morning. They start their day and end their day with me; and I question as to why they have been placed into my care.

How do I respond? Do I say, “I am too old for such a challenge? Why me? I can’t do this” Or do I say, “maybe the last 28 years were preparing me for such a time as this?” To be honest my brain is saying both.

In such a time as this, God will not be mentioned in my classroom. I do not pray with my students. We do not fast together during Lent. Is God there if the story about to unfold does not mention God? Where is my safety net?

Maybe I need to post this quote in my classroom:

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do the thing you cannot do?

Thoughts on my Psalm 139 reflection

Psalm 139 begins with a description of a God, who is very difficult to escape. Tracking our location, movements, thoughts, and words which we are preparing to speak. This ancient text could compare with those who speak out on the tracking of Facebook, Google, credit card companies, and the NSA.

Is God like the NSA, impossible to escape from so that we will get caught if we do wrong? Is God selling our personal info to maintain pearly gates? Is God an overly obsessed lover, who ignores any restraining order we try to place upon him?

Or maybe God wants to have a conversation with us. Ignatius was big on conversations with God and all of creation. Knowing someone greater by intimate time, leads to greater love. God just may be with us at all times so that we can become more intimate. Through prayer, spiritual direction, jazz, art, and flower gardens; I get to know God and God gets to know me.

But Psalm 139 is meaningful for me for the next line which was not part of the daily reading last Sunday.

Verse 13. You created my inmost self, knit me together in my mother's womb.

My spiritual director suggested I read psalm 139 as I entered into my first 8 day retreat. It was at a time when I was exploring how a youth filled with visits to a urologist had affected my life. For 8 days God and I wrestled with a rather poorly knit urthrethra. Not what I was expecting when I drove to the Jesuit Center, but it was a long over due conversation.

Verse 14. For so many marvels I thank you; a wonder am I, and all your works are wonders. You knew me through and through,

OK, so maybe God gave me a poorly knit urinary tract, but I got to be awed by the hands he gave me. On the 4th of July, I sent out this image asking my Facebook friends to be careful while handling fireworks.

15. my being held no secrets from you, when I was being formed in secret, textured in the depths of the earth.

God wants us to share our secrets. I told no one about those doctor visits, which began when I was four, until I was in college. God was there when I finally told my story and has been encouraging me ever since. We are called into a life of intimate relationships fueled by conversations. God would rather not miss one.

 

 

The Woman at the a Well meets Gregory Porter on My commute

Sunday morning Mother Amanda offered me the chance to feed her spirit. It was just the two of us at the Rite 1 service and after she offered me the bread of life, she asked me to serve her.
A moment earlier she had reminded me of the amazing acceptance of living water by the Samaritan woman. It was offered she accepted. Mother Amanda pondered how many times we miss opportunities of God offering us living water.
I almost missed the message to offer her the bread of life and the cup of salvation. I thought she wanted me to eat more of the bread, but my ears caught the message and I took the plate not the bread. I offered the bread to her.
Monday morning, I headed to work with Gregory Porter voice guiding me out of Lansdale. The title song was a reminder to keep my senses alert for some liquid spirit and to clap my hands.

Flowing in the Living Water

I am The Living Water
Banner
Holy Trinity Lansdale

It has been 17 years or so since I returned to church. I still have my doubts, but I cannot not doubt that the journey has transformed me.

Mosaic Woman has journeyed with me day by day and has unfolded along with me. We are blessed to have become people who still desire to share lives together.

This past year I reconnected with some friends I knew back in college. One came to town on business and I fed him pizza. One I actually picked up a phone and called. One I met halfway, by a river we both love from those days in college.

I pondered the chances of people disconnected for nearly three decades to have become new people who still would want to be friends with each other. In each case, I am glad to call them my friend. 

Watching the river that day with my friend, I was baffled; the river seemed to be flowing in opposite directions. Finally I asked if she saw what I saw. Rivers are turbulent. In fact trying to get any water to flow without any turbulence is quite difficult.

17 years ago I was afraid to leap into the living water. Where would it take me? I imagined places that I feared. Could I become shaped by God into a person I didn't want to be? A wise man told me that I did not have to believe anything, just be willing to take a journey.

The turbulence has transformed me, but so far not into what I feared. Who knew God wanted me to garden, to listen to jazz, to transform my doodles into glass sun catchers, to decide that creating joy is the ultimate goal of my teaching, to invite 50+ people a year to my house for pizza, to learn how to imagine the pain of others so I can open this stoic heart a bit more day by day, to become an Episcopalian, to find a place to finally release my pain and return year after year for eight days of silence with Jesuits ...

The journey has pushed me into so many places That I have to wonder who this new self is. Then I visit with three of my best friends from back in the day, and I can now see that I am flowing in the living water and I am pleased to have inched myself in a bit deeper each year.

A Starting Place For Jazz in My Church

 

I had posted a link to my acceptance that jazz in my church would be a journey that could not be predicted. One friend thought that action was needed, not just examens, and another friend offered up a suggestion on Facebook. The suggestion: Jazz playing in the background at an adult discussion that I am leading. I don't want to to that, but the suggestion led to imagining a series of adult discussions that centered about a jazz standard and reflections on spiritual writings that are connected to the standard. This could happen quicker and easier without the scheduling and planning that a bigger event would require. I'm not big on those two things. Eventually my desire for jazz in my church could grow and expand.

We will see. Maybe it will start with Willow Weep For Me, a tune that touched me this summer in the midst of silence.

 

Time to examen my simple desire, jazz in my church

 

One of the seven desires I carried with me from my week of silence this summer is jazz in my church. It may have been born the night Andrea Wolper sang at my church on the evening I chose to celebrate turning 50. But what does that mean and is now the time to figure it out.

For nearly five months it has been on my lips when I pray, and though the other six desires are thriving, I am at a loss of how to proceed and where would it be that I am headed if I proceeded. What is this desire?

To have concerts. To have vespers on a Saturday evening. Or to do something else.

Why is this important? It was important enough that I felt moved to spend a weekend traveling to Cleveland to a conference on jazz and worship.

I can feel the desire to create a liturgy immersed in jazz. Yet I wonder if I really want to do it. So I have avoided prayer to avoid the confusion. Maybe it is time to venture into my chair of contemplation and examen this that and the other thing.

 

The 12 Days of Christmas Shout Outs: Frederick Buechner for day nine

The conversation this past Sunday began like this...

Me ~> peace

Lay preacher friend ~> what would we do without Buechner? How would I ever end a sermon without him.

My friend knows I dig Buechner. She has been to many an adult discussion led by me in which the man was quoted. I don't like being asked what my favorite this or that is because I tend to have many a favorite and don't enjoy ranking things much. With that said, Buechner is near the top. I have read his theology, his sermons, his autobiographies, and his novels.

So here are some things I have learned from all of that. Tell your story if you hope to heal. Find what brings you joy and if it matches a need of this world, you have discovered your vocation. You and I are peculiar treasures loved by a God that will search us out no matter where we go to hide.

When I went missing for a decade or two, I fled a religion that I wanted nothing to do with. When I returned, Buechner and the man who recommended him, showed me a different side of that religion. And for that I am grateful.

What would we do without him?

 

The 12 Days of Christmas Shout Outs: Joanne Romano for day two

I have had some great conversations in 2013, and maybe some others will pop up during this Christmas shout out series. This morning as I created this Stratozpheric glass doodle for my friend Joanne, my mind went back to the day that she bantered with my snarky attitude (she did quite well) as she attempted to get me to buy tickets to a fundraiser my church was having. It was fun, the conversation that is because I never did make it to the breakfast. People who went said it was a hoot.

I love Joanne's voice and I am grateful that through it all she has remained a member of the band that creates music at my church here in Lansdale. Billions and billions of singers and instrumentalists have been in the band with her over the years. A flow chart may be in order.

After our home show, Joanne's name was pulled and I had the privilege of creating a sun catcher just for her. So here is to hoping she doesn't take his Sunday off.

 

Creating a Path to Jazz in Churches ~ The Thelonious Monk Septet's Monk's Music

Cleared off the top of my stereo so I could play an LP or two. Monk's Music was released by Riverside Records in 1957. It was one of the first jazz records to be in my collection, but that wasn't till nearly thirty years after it was recorded Only six tunes on the LP, five of which are tunes by Thelonious Monk, but the first tune is a less than a minute take of Abide with Me. The hymn was written by Henry Francis Lyte as he prepared for death. The opening refers to Luke 24:29, "Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent"

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;

The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.

When other helpers fail and comforts flee,

Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

... but the music was composed by William H. Monk. Thus it is Monk's music. Thelonious Monk does not play on the tune and I wonder if that ever happened again on one of his albums. He arranged it for horns. Ray Copeland, Coleman Hawkins, John Coltrane, Gigi Gryce play it ~

When I first played this LP, I doubt I would have one day be a fan of jazz vespers and be planning to celebrate my 50th birthday at an Episcopalian church and with jazz. But that is where my life has unfolded.

Revisiting The Mystics

Irises in my yard delight my eye.

For most of 2012 I was celebrating mystics on Mondays. Inspired by a gift from a friend, Mosaic Woman and I were reading a "Love Poem From God" every night. It faded and we never got to the last three mystics.

The new rector at my church, asked me if I would return to my old habit of leading classes for adults, so on Tuesday nights I have been reading some of my favorite love poems from God. I chose seven of the nine mystics which will takes us through the month of May. A different mystic each Tuesday.

Now I spend a few moments as I greet each day. I just got home from a night filled with the wisdom of Saint Thomas Aquinas. Here is a love poem from God from this mystic ~

When you recognize her beauty,

the eye applauds, the heart stands in ovation,

and the tongue when she is near

is on its best behavior,

it speaks more like light.

What does light talk about?

I asked a plant that once.

It said, "I am not sure,

but it makes me

grow."

Maybe it is time to visit the three that were neglected.

an apparently wise decision ~ choosing to attend the World Day of Prayer

art by Anne-Lise Hammann

For weeks I wondered, do I want to do my usual thing ~ linger after work then head off to Owen J Roberts High School to set up for a craft show and miss the annual World Day of Prayer Service.

Or ~ go to the service and wake up early on Saturday morning.

I went with the new path and it was wise.  Friday I let two students crawl under my skin and push buttons so hard that I let them annoy me.  Both ended with a plan to help things go better the next time around, but I was tired as I drove home towards worship.  So sitting in church and watching women from my local community do what women all around the world were doing, helped to soothe me.  As did seeing a fine friend for the first time since a great sadness came upon her.  As did drinking a glass of wine, with some friends at the reception.

and as I sit here 24 or so hours later, I feel blessed to have chosen to rise early this morning.  And hoping I can find a video of the tune that brought forth that community of women last night. (for info on the artist of the poster)

2012, The Second Half

Our church finally stumbled upon a new rector,
 she is wonderful.
I greeted her with this card.

I began what will hopefully be more mosaics
inspired by the photographs of KerriFar

I started making 3D suncatchers
and when our good friends moved
out of our neighborhood,
I gave this one to warm their new house.

My friend Deborah began leading interfaith services at our church.

Finally, I set up coloring pages for sale on our etsy shop

in the midst of self doubts, I created a pug mosaic

The Fit got personalized

A client saw one in our house and asked for three bigger ones.  One of the biggest commissions of the year was created by Margaret

Any time any one asks for three Dr Ed's mandalas, has to be a highlight of the year.  I also was commissioned to make one for Dr Ed's daughter

End of the year date at the art museum

and there was that magical time
being inside what I called
 The Wernersville Tree


and I made pizza
and taught
and listened to jazz

Celebrating the old and the new

I was sitting and waiting to celebrate our new priest, Mother Amanda, when the young man in the striped shirt (far left) asked me if I was going to take photos for our church's website, a website I have helped to create in the past month.  So I walked home.

As I looked at the images, I was disheartened by the less than crisp images that showed up on my computer.  The one of the cake looked OK, the ones of the cheese were a disaster.  But then this one caught my eye.  There is one man who stands out.

He was at the church long before I arrived and has been one of those people I have met along my journey who calls out for the church to help those in need.  A man to follow into a life of reaching out to the poor.

An hour before the service I had dropped off some cheese and some Nanaimo bars and headed out of the church to the farmers market.  When I emerged from the church, it was he who offered me a ride.  I needed the walk, so I passed on the offer, but my heart was lifted up be his presence.  Attendance has been difficult for him over the past year, but how important to have a man, who had witnessed so many rectors at Holy Trinity be there for today's Celebration of New Ministry.

So I am glad that of all the people to shine forth in my photos, it was the man, who had offered me a ride.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Stained Glass at Holy Trinity Lansdale

Mystical Monday ~ St Francis inspires a new generation

Our Wednesday nights of pie have continued as the seasons change here in PA.  But we are missing one member as the daughter of Red and the Chef has gone off to college.  She is studying biology (well one class in four years), so I have been sending her daily links to info I find interesting.  This could go on for decades as my interest in biology has been already around for decades.

The other night I found a story about how there has been an adaptation to large urban settings taking place.  Coyote pups are more likely to survive there than rural areas.  And now reports of larger animals are rising.

So yesterday, when our new priest told the story of St Francis taming the wolf... I was thinking we needed a new mystic for our times.  Mother Amanda proceeded to bless the domesticated beasts which were pondering why they were doing something new this Sunday morning.

Maybe from the midsts of these blessings of the animals a mystic will arrive, who will calm the fears of the humans and help to feed the hunger of the beasts.

The Bread of Life Banner

Jesus said, 

"I am the bread of life; 

whoever comes to me shall not hunger, 

and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." 

 John 6:35

I had had no idea that the Holy Eucharist would feed my hunger.  When I walk towards the meal, when I take the bread and drink the wine, when I ask to be renewed and cleansed... this is when my doubts fade to the side and my faith grows stronger.

Mystical Mondays ~ Hope sermon: The Alpha and Omega

an amazing commission
by Wayne Stratz

I started...

THE HOPE OF LOVING

by: Meister Eckhart 
Transl. Daniel Ladinksky

What keeps us alive, what allows us to endure?

I think it is the hope of loving,
 or being loved.

I am inside our booth and I tell a stranger that Hope is my favorite word.  He asks why.  My answer was because it is the opposite of despair, maybe my true answer is… I know despair.

Meister Eckhart 
continues

I heard a fable once about the sun going on a journey 
to find its source, and how the moon wept
 without her lover’s 
warm gaze.

We weep when light does not reach our hearts. We wither 
like fields if someone close
 does not rain their 
kindness 
upon 
us.

I ended...

I don’t know how I unfolded into a man of hope, but it sure did help to stop believing in a God who keeps lists of sins and waits to throw it into my face.  Seeking out positive people sure does help.  Reading Frederick Buechner may have been key.  I will end with his words, from his sermon about hope: 

"I think it is hope that lies at our hearts and hope that finally brings us all here [into the church].  Hope that in spite of all the devastating evidence to the contrary, the ground we stand on is holy ground because Christ walked here and walks here still.  Hope that we are known, each one of us, by name, and that out of the burning moments of our lives he will call us by our names to the lives he would have us live and the selves he would have us become.  Hope that into the secret grief and pain and bewilderment of each of us and of our world he will come at last to heal and to save." (81)

Post hope sermon thoughts ~ playing into prayer

Hope in the Dessert
by
Margaret Almon and Wayne Stratz

I am grateful to my friend Michelle for getting me to think about prayerful play.  I often have heard people say they are not artistic or creative when they are looking at my work.  I tell them to play with colors whether the colors are deep inside paint, glass, pencils, water colors, fabric, yarn, beads... It doesn't matter.  Hope is the force that leads us into new creations.  Hope can create something beautiful.  Hope can lead to the right color.  Hope helps to make it turn out better this time.  Sooner or later you find the right play objects and it becomes joyful.  No need for patience since as Michelle put it, we "are caught up in the joy of the work at hand, be it messy or even risky."  

But what about prayer, how does creativity come into place.  Hanging out with Jesuits and those trained in Ignatian spirituality has helped.  Imagine yourself into the Bible passage.  Rewrite a passage to imagine how God would be speaking to you instead of Jacob or Mary.  Take the basic principles of the Examen and play with it.  Let it evolve into a prayer that is messy and risky.  

What activity in your life takes you into the land of joy experienced by a child playing with his imagination at full tilt?  Can you imagine being that focussed during prayer because you are being playful?  I hope that we can.  

Preparing a sermon of hope

Once again, well for the second time, I have been asked to give a sermon at my church. And while I am not opposed to Jesus being the bread of life... I have become quite in need of the weekly Eucharist provided in my Episcopalian church... Psalm 130's message of hope clearly caught my eye.

and reading my favorite Quantum Theologist's post on psalms has me working out thoughts about hope, prayer, play.

Where did my hope come from, how did I emerge from despair, was there a moment in time that transformed me, what does unfolding with creation have to do with this

I don't expect to have answers by Sunday

We are bold to sing

LP cover to Mary Lou Williams; Mary Lou's Mass
in Black and white

On Sunday mornings Mosaic Woman and I enjoy listening to NPR's Piano Jazz, this past week's episode was an interview with Randy Weston.  At one point he speaks of the education he received from Mary Lou Williams.  So tonight when I curiously grabbed the LP to the far right, I was glad to find Mary Lou's Mass in my hand.

On Sundays we sing The Lord's Prayer at our church.   Our priest has taken to the habit of changing, "we are bold to pray" to "we are bold to sing."  How I would love to hear a performance of Mary Lou's Mass.  A mass that is bold and sacred...
a faith lives on....