Saturday, November 17, 2007

end of sin and a journey into Colossians

The first week of the spiritual exercises have come to an end, no more sin. Well, not really, but wouldn't that be nice. Before it ended I spent some time reflecting on my own death. The first attempt was not a highlight in sharp focused thinking. I did not focus. The second attempt went better. I imagined myself fully grey and near death and wondered what I wish had gone differently.

Becoming a spiritual director came to mind. Chestnut Hill College, where I am fully not matriculated, has redesigned their program and with it has lessened the time given to earn the degree. Do I want the degree bad enough that I would take two classes a term? Is this suffering? Is it possible? One class keeps me busy, but maybe if I didn't want to spend time gardening and making stained glass and blogging and praying and teaching and being a husband and being a friend and being an active member of my church and watching movies and reading books. "Maybe I have too many interests," I tell my spiritual director. Yet again he is pleased that I am thinking about things.

I wander back to my death bed and try to see my response to not having a degree and not having the experience of helping others develop their relationship with God. The second would clearly cause me more angst. So what would the degree do for me, what has taken me to enroll in two classes. Is it the desire to be 'legitimate?" a desire to be more spiritual myself? a desire to learn the skills and knowledge that will help me to help others? I don't need the degree. I desire the degree.

Luckily some of Sophia's wisdom flowed into my head before I could scrap the idea of getting a masters. I sent off an e-mail to the woman who started the program and very briefly stated my concerns and my desire to talk. Her response gives me hope, and she too has a desire to talk. That will happen on the 29th.

since I am still a student, I guess it is time to start my next paper-- Colossians 1: 15-20-- and by coincidence it is where the exercises have turned to for this week. Christ the King. Having spent time with sin, I am now spending time with the ultimate invitation. Can I reject Jesus calling me into his Kingdom? Why Colossians? It is seen as a connection between wisdom and Christ. I am curious. Did Paul write it? I could flip a coin or randomly pick one scholar.

as for the work incident that I struggled with..... I spoke to the student, asked if he wanted to come back. He said, "yes." He has really gotten into drawing anatomy, strangely I discovered his passion for drawing when he drew a hateful drawing of me.

2 comments:

  1. Interesting that you should refer to Colossians. A friend gave me a link to some sermons brought forth out of that particular book and I pass it one to you. I like the one listed on the right by Paul Wartman entitled "Christ...Crisis: Renovation of the Heart". If you've no time (it's about 30 minutes long) or if you've no interest, you offend me not. I fully understand the dilemma. May you find peace in whatever direction you proceed regarding the degree....

    http://portalcast.org/videos/christ-crisis-functioning-families

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jim-- with some time off, I hope to find the time... maybe when I need a break from the paper this weekend????

    ReplyDelete

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