Sunday, September 6, 2009

deeper places 1- a dream of a diner takes me to staff meetings

Never since my first 8 day retreat have I entered so quickly into feeling connected with God. I give credit to all who sent me off with their prayers, and maybe my desire.

"Use your imagination," spoken early by my director, leads to a week long colloquy... well that's what the priest in the parking lot called it, when I was having my unexpected last experience of the retreat.
I realized how rare it is has become for me to imagine God's voice when I start a conversation in prayer. It can be exhausting. It can lead to awe.
The first morning I woke up hearing a shower and thought, "Wow, Mosaic Woman is up early." I then realized I had started a retreat. The next night I actually experienced a dream, well the strange part was remembering it... We are in a diner. We tire of waiting and go outside. We come back in and discover they thought we had left and have thrown our food out. I hear the distress of the waitress as we leave.
My director asks if this could be related to my work, could you be someone other than yourself in the dream.
Later in prayer I think of two meetings in which a program and reps of that program were being treated in ways that were not filled with hope, peace, joy, and love. I spoke, but not much and not early. Often I don't speak at all. I saw myself as the waitress who wants to bring nourishment but is late. If I want a world filled with hope, joy, peace, and love.... then I guess I am going to have to nourish and defend those who are trying to do the same. The next day I say, "I don't want to be thrown in a cistern like Jeremiah."
two hours later I hear the Gospel... the beheading of John the Baptist. Given the choice I will go with the cistern and find out who my friends are.



  1. A different-but-sort-of-the-same story:

    A few weeks ago I was in a well known store trying on some clothes. Wearing some of those clothes, I left the dressing room in search of other possibilities. When I returned a few minutes later, I found that a saleswoman had swept away all of the clothes, including my own, that I had left piled in the dressing room.

    It was so completely disorienting, to stand there wearing things that did not belong to me and try to figure out how my own worn and loved clothing had vanished.

    I suppose there are a number of spiritual parallels one might draw. I just thought I'd report it.

  2. And I have another story... In a meeting with some strangers seeking my expertise, the husband interacted in a completely disrespectful and demeaning manner to his wife, in front of me! But I had not the courage to defend the woman and say "No one shall speak in such tones to another in this space." It dawned on me only later that what I had witnessed was truly verbal abuse, but at that time, I was not strong enough to say "No."

    That scene, my impotence to defend this woman, still haunts me to this day. But if it ever happens again, I must believe that I will have the strength....

  3. Gannet Girl---- thanks for the story. I hope you have time to sit with this story. as my director said, if the dream has created a strong emotion... go back to it. so nervy.

    Giggles--- I wish you well, if you ever witness such behavior again, sadly odds are you will. I don't know if these posts will lead to one great awareness, but they will lead me somewhere. Thanks for trying to catch my random thoughts as they fly through the air.

  4. Interesting stories from you and from Gannet Girl. Reality can be as strange as dreams. I occasionally have waitressing nightmares although I haven't done that in a few decades. A few nights ago I dreamed that Rick and I were golfing with the Obamas - I haven't golfed in a decade.

    Maybe I need to spend some more time contemplating.


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