As I said here, I felt a strong urge, calling, message, desire... to take a stained glass design on my retreat this year. I said, "Sure," to whatever it was. I figured it would be nice to look at while on retreat. so simpleminded am I.
But when I arrived the message grew, "Leave the glass here." It was quite similar in some ways to the message that inspired me to draw 68 cards in five days. (see my answers to Kathryn at the end of the post for some clarification on the drawing of the cards).
Anyway, I woke up this morning transformed back into a human (got home well after the midnight deadline of not turning into a pumpkin) and my mind came back to telling the story of my retreat. I saw my stained glass as a sacrificial offering. Instead of taking a goat or dove or part of my garden bounty to the temple, I took stained glass to Wernersville.
However....
It was one thing to be told not to take something home, it is another to be told directly where to leave it. I pondered leaving it in my room as a gift for all those who seek silence and end up in room 185. I thought about hanging it in a public window at the Jesuit Retreat Center. Then I took the low road, I decided it wasn't my job to decide and figured I could dump it off on someone else to decide.
And that felt right, until I did it. The eyes of my spiritual director told me where it belonged. But I could not get beyond telling her to keep it for 27.25 days (inside joke) and during which time SHE could ponder where it belongs. Back in my room, it didn't feel right. It still does not feel right, so chances are it is not right.
So I begin to reflect on words... did God to tell me that the stained glass was to stay at Wernersville meaning not to come home with me or stay at Wernersville meaning it stays in the retreat center?
Would God lead the glass, which matched my director's home decor and brought light to her eyes, to my director, if it was not meant to go to her house? I doubt it. Take it home. God and I think it belongs there. (the comment button leads you into this discussion)...
best of the not so great photos...
It is beautiful even in a not so great photo. All those questions and trying to find answers - I guess that is the point of a silent retreat but I'm a talk things out kind of gal. Your spiritual director is fortunate for the serendipity that resulted in her taking the stained glass home.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what it would be like to have a spiritual director. I hear people talk of them and feel as if it is some sort of a club of which I am not a part. I'm not sure that I would even know what to do with a spiritual director.
Wow, it looks 3-D to me. Beauty. So, is your spiritual director keeping it then?
ReplyDeleteMich
Kathryn--- you can talk about all sorts of things, God, church, faith, doubts, what touches your heart, what isn't touching your heart... and see below
ReplyDeleteDaisy... I don't know. I will send her a link to read this blog post. I would hope that it is still in her office at the retreat center where we had decided it would stay for at least 27.25 days. It is hers and I hope I can encourage her to take it home.
I wonder if it will be there when I next go?
ReplyDeleteMichelle--- you know who to ask about it. I need to e-mail this link to her.
ReplyDeleteTis beautiful
ReplyDeleteGiggles--- thanks
ReplyDeleteThat's a gorgeous flower rendered in stained glass. If she's been looking at it for even 2.25 days (nevermind the other 25) and enjoying its beauty, I'm sure she will be thankful for the opportunity to take it home with her. (I would be!)
ReplyDelete