Tuesday, October 7, 2008

riding the rollercoaster

That is my life. The meeting that threw me into my childhood memories or lack of memories a few weeks ago riled me up good, even to the point that I blogged mysteriously (as one would say) about that time. I seemed to have ridden that crest and even have returned to a solid prayer life again. When I did return a week ago, it was to find a quote about remembering what our teachers taught us. I should have laughed, or cried.

This is all I have to tell about the story for now.

Mosaic woman and I were on the verge of marriage and master's degrees when a large brown envelope came in the mail. The urologist had died and my medical records were in my hand. For the first time in my life (well I do have that memory problem) I found out why I had gone through what I had gone through. It was two severe infections, one at age three, one at age four. To save my kidneys from more damage I was treated with the best practices of the day. I read the dates of the visits. The frequency. Six times that first year.

Mosaic Woman read it too. She said, "You have to take this to a doctor. You can't just keep ignoring this." Love can help you do the hardest things.

And ever since I have taken my story to doctors as we have moved across the states. And their message to me.... "If everything is working OK, why do anything." I can live with that.

I stopped the treatments when I moved away from PA 20 plus years ago. I just have to wonder... when could they have stopped? Life is a mystery.

That's it on this subject.


  1. Roller coasters can be fun or terrifying and sometimes both. I'm glad to read that you are feeling less spun out and that you are getting rational medical advice these days - a rare commodity in my experience.

  2. Once when I posted about forgiveness you commented about your urologist, and I thought it was a joke. I'm so sorry it wasn't! God's peace to you.

  3. Kathryn-- I am grateful that they did not test me to find out why everything was going OK.

    Ruth--- I remember that well. I am also sorry. However, it did make me smile when the first (???) comment I left on your blog made you laugh. Glad I made the comment and that it has led to this moment.

  4. You certainly have my curiosity peaked in all this, but I am also a firm believer that, regardless of when we come to God, He has been there all along, walking with us somewhere in the shadows...

  5. Jim... just sent you a short e-mail. yes, God was there all along. it took 8 days of silence to imagine (and feel) the pain and joy of believing that God was there.


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